Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Is This Stereotyping or What?

This weekend, famed physicist Stephen Hawking rocked the residents of this world with his declaration that aliens are likely to exist but should be avoided at all costs.
Whose world did he rock?
Certainly not mine.
I have seen all the movies, The Day the Earth Stood Still, War of the Worlds, The Twilight Zone, Body Snatchers, we stereotype the poor extraterrestrial.
Only in ET did we make the alien seem like a decent sort, just befuddled and lost.
Now a famed scientist who should know better adds to the furor.
“Aliens are most likely microbes, fungus or dangerous.
The one clarifier is that the term microbe can also include fungi and even viruses.
Well I couldn’t let this one go.
Athletes Foot is a fungus and we don’t panic over it, what about Candida, another common saprophyte that likes to live on the human skin, that doesn’t send people screaming into the streets.
We use fungus to make cheese and a lot of people eat fungi sautéed in white wine.’
So if an alien fungus shows up it best beware as it may end up stewed in white wine and butter on the Iron Chef.
Microbes on the other hand can be bad news especially if they invade a human and cause pneumonia, sepsis, or other infections.
These babies sometimes kill.
But in general microbes are advantageous to man such as the ones in the gut that break down foodstuffs, the ones that ferment alcohol, the ones that long ago became mitochondrion and supply our bodies with energy, the ones that digest leaf liter and help make soil.
In fact wasn't it a microbe that saved mankind in War of the Worlds?
Finally he suggests that an advanced civilization of “Nomadic Humanoids” might show up, steal our resources and/or sauté us.
I am much more worried about earth bound humanoids and the evil deeds we inflict on each other.
Your chances of being killed by a careless driver 1 in 85, your chances of being murdered 1 in 210, of a nuclear explosion 1 in 400.
Global violence accounts for 14% of all deaths.
The chances of discovering intelligent alien life is about 1 in 30 million.
The chances of running into an alien on the street that wants to cook you, infect you or steal your stuff has to be about 1 to many billions.
So I for one am appalled at the idea of snubbing our noses at potential “buddies” in this rather large universe and see no benefit to hunkering down in this backwater galaxy and beating each other up; it will ultimately come to a bad ending
Maybe some intelligent aliens have a better way; but please, before you land, leave your weapons and large stew pots on the moon.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, How do you not know that we have already come and stayed and like you chaps enough to beef up your slow technology. Why? We can't wait for you to blunder into your own advancement. Think about the Black Obelisk in 2001 2010 Space Odessey. These are machines capable of causing some 'muses' to take effect in the human race. We are here and we don't plan on leaving. Mr. Hawking needs to get out more and to recognize that destruction is not what the universe is about, There is so much to go around one need not plunder anothers planet. The universe is a stroehoise of resources available to all.
Soewmofu cannot be understood by humans until you stop analyzing everything with a narrow human aesthetic.

Anonymous said...

Dad, I love this one!!! Great laugh to start my dad! You are too awesome. I wish I could write like you :-)
Katrina