Old But Not: A Paradox

Birthday coming soon.
Can't access Medicare yet but close.
Hope I never have to use it.
I know my age but talking to my wife last night said, "I feel like I am 30 years old. I know I feel as good or maybe even better than when I was 30".
Her comment, "I feel 16".
"Stop there", I said. "That is underage in any state".
"No seriously, I feel 16".
These two people are crazy, you might be thinking: instead ask yourself, "Is this all from exercise and a good diet"?
I submit for your consideration that in fact this is the direct result of exercise and well controlled diet.
I recently ran into a friend at the airport who commented on my weight but ended up saying, "Well you may live three years longer but I will have enjoyed the journey more".
I didn't say anything because I don't think he has enjoyed the journey as much I am now enjoying the journey.
I may drop dead tomorrow, I may get hit by a bus, a meteorite might fall on me and leave nothing but smoking ashes but until that instant in time when it stops I will have enjoyed each and every moment so acutely that I can't stop laughing.
A patient recently asked me, "Why are you always laughing"?
"It is a release valve for happiness".
He looked at me and said quite clearly, "you ain't all there".
"If you believe that then you are in trouble".
"Why is that".
"Well, I am your doctor".
That gave him some pause and not the refreshing kind.

Horse Power, Flys and the Gym

The set up:
Incline bench, the Smith Machine, two twenty five pound plates on a 15 pound bar.
The lifter lies on the incline bench with the bar resting on the upper chest, about 4 inches below the clavicle and presses the weight upward.
This is good for building chest muscles, the "pecs".
The routine:
Lifter begins:
1. 10 repetitions followed by 10 push ups.
2. Back on the machine-11 reps followed by 10 push ups
3. now 12 reps followed by 10 push ups
So it goes all the way to 20 reps followed by 10 push ups.
That equals 165 reps and 100 push ups; total amount of weight raised: 10,725 pounds.
If the weight travels 36 inches (the average arm length) the lifter is generating 32,175 foot pounds of work.
One horse power is equal to moving 32,580 pound one foot in one minute.
It took about ten minutes to complete the exercise so theoretically 0.1 horsepower was generated without taking into account the push ups.
Those were thrown in just to add hurt.
After this exercise we weren't offered any hay or oats, no sugar cube but went directly to the bench to finish with dumbbell "flys".
With all the horse power and the flys I felt like I should be in a stable but after that work out, I wasn't.
I was sore.
Then on day two the real soreness started.
I can honestly say even after five days I still feel like I should be put out to pasture.

Are you Fit

Picked up a book in the airport.
Men's Health Training Guide.
The definition of fitness: A few examples:
1. Bench Press 1.5 times body weight
2. 100 push-ups
3. more than 40 chin-ups
4. etc, etc, etc.
These ranges were suggested for men aged 20 to 29.
Look up exercise and fitness for the "older adult"; aerobic exercise in 10 minute intervals, moderate weight training 2 times a week; it was condescending to say the least.
So I began grading myself as I will soon be 64.
I can't bench press 1.5 times my weight but I can do 15 reps on the dumbbell bench press with 75 pound weights in each hand. Maybe with a trusted spot I might go for a bench press of 230 pounds when well rested or alternatively get my weight down to 100 pounds.
I need to run 1.5 miles in under 10 minutes to be as fit as a 25 year old. This will have to wait until spring.
I will never be able to touch the rim but hell I couldn't even dribble a ball and was banned from the basketball court for being so bad.
I can do 50-18 inch box jumps and maybe that would get me close to the rim.
I can leg press 2.5 times my body weight and in fact can leg press almost 4.0 times my body weight, does burn the "glutes".
The push ups are not easy but I can do the whole 100 on a good day.
Swimming 700 yards in 12 minutes will have to wait until late summer. I hate cold water.
Can I run 300 yards in less than a minute? We will see this spring.
Yes I can touch my toes. It does hurt in the hamstrings but so what.
I can not do 40 chin ups and was hoping to get to 25.
How much weight can you hoist in under 5 seconds?
I know I hoist 178 pounds every morning I get out of bed and in under 5 seconds but with a lot of groaning.
I am working on hoisting a 35 pound kettle bell over my head 50 times in less than 4 minutes.
There was no mention of the core so I want to add, hold a plank for 4 minutes; I am at 3:30 minutes and still working on it.
I would like to see a revision to the exercise recommendations for the older adult as the older adult in this day and age is still frequently working to take care of his 20 something year old kids and needs encouragement to keep going "hard and strong" to the end.

2010 Rapidly Fading

It is rapidly coming to a close, 2010.
I was in the gym this morning exercising, new routine, no free weights, just body weight exercises.
My exercise partner was on board.
The body weight exercises included pull ups or chin ups for those as old as me, dips (no not talking ice cream one or two scoops) body weight dips, sit ups on a decline bench while catching and throwing a weighted ball, leg pull ups while hanging suspended by your arms, etc.
We did 6 stations and somewhere between fifteen and twenty five reps per station and repeated each station three times.
Then it was over.
The next time I am in the gym it will be a new year.
I will be approaching Medicare, not quite there yet, but I can smell it.
I wonder if I will get a senior discount on the monthly dues?
I have been worried, as much as I am there, that they might actually start charging a higher membership fee, you know wearing out the equipment faster.
They did get a whole new load of fancy machines but the spin bikes still look like they have come forward from the 1800's.
I wonder, did they have spin classes in the 1800's?
Sparta was in this morning, patrolling the room, exhorting her small class to new levels of exertion.
Ammo is recovering from the flu.
The Ambassador has been decommissioned due to a back injury,
Cheshire now has the flu.
Finally Transformer seems to be back but maybe not all the way.
Even Sparta has been fighting an injury of sorts and some platform took a large chunk of my shin.
The classes on Tuesday have grown to 35, Thursday class is usually big but it was announced we would be doing the 800 crunches which turned into 1000 and a lot of the regulars stayed away.
The Saturday class has also gotten quite large, 25 to 30.
I occasionally think back to when the class consisted of 4 or 5 regulars.
In spite of everything 2010 has been a good year until this month.
My daughter got some really terrible news regarding her health and it has made it seem like I am walking in mud.
Read: www.lovecansitanywhere.com
Retirement has turned into a part time job and close to full time anxiety.
The gym will be my best therapy in 2011.
I want to get to 163 pounds, 25 chin ups and an Iron Cross.
I have to hurry, Medicare is just around the corner and I don't think they cover Gymnastic Ring Injuries.

The Real Gift, You Get To Stay on the Field

It is early in the gym.
The laughing ladies are here, the trainer is here, poser is here.
My partner shows up.
We chat with the ladies and are summarily dismissed by the trainer, "Don't mess with my clients".
We wander off to another part of the gym as I say, "What do you want to do today, shoulders"?
More a direction than question.
"Sounds good to me", comes the reply and we start.
My lift partner is at least 6 to 8 years younger; I know the day is coming when his age and strength will leave me in the dust but for now, time and tolerance, are on my side.
He has even commented, "I don't think I will catch you because I am not willing to hurt that much".
But I have noticed, of late, he is willing to hurt, a lot.
He is moving fast, to heavier and heavier lift weights, in spite of the aches and pains.
It is getting a little difficult to stay 20 to 30 pound ahead on the big muscle groups and 5 to 10 pounds ahead on the small muscle exercises.
It is just a matter of time and nature but for now he is pushing me to new levels of performance while his muscles are racing to peak performance.
I watched the National Triathlon from Hawaii this past weekend and the competitors ranged in age from 19 to 80 years of age.
The 80 year old was completing his 21st Triathlon.
There was the answer, it isn't about being the best, it is about being able to stay in the game and play with some of the best.
I think I might offer up a leg workout next week and try to go to 600 pounds, I expect he will stay right there or better.
I am looking for him to go to 700.
That will be a test I won't enjoy.

Hey It Is Christmas Even At the Gym

They don’t decorate the weights but they do have a tree in the lobby and wreaths on the doors.

Maybe the mood is a little more festive.

“Hey get that seasonal music off the system, you are killing the workout”!!!!!

Well maybe not all that festive.

Although in Boot Camp, Sparta put on a pair of Reindeer antlers, as she received blows in boxing.

There is something about swinging at a young lady with reindeer antlers on her head that just doesn’t seem right.

Sparta also sponsored a holiday carry-in to be consumed right after Boot Camp.

I think she expected more participation but the array of treats was eclectic to say the least.

The every present cheese cubes were there along with some great Guacamole and Salsa.

The chips were high fiber crackers and I can still attest to the level of fiber two days after the event.

There was some sinfully delightful sugar coated puffs that seemed rather addicting.

A very nice cranberry relish and a jar of pickled beets rounded out the fare.

The libation consisted of Champagne.

Every body stayed and ate sparingly as we are all in the midst of a weight loss contest and every time you gain you throw $5 more into the pot.

Surprisingly the beets were not a big hit.

You can eat a whole jar for very little cost in total calories.

The fiber crackers were the biggest hit making the doctor side of me think every one there was suffering from some type of GI problem.

As the last of the Champagne disappeared, “Well it is time to go lift”, not spirits but weights.

The spirits were already lifted for far too long it seemed.

So she walked out of sight to pump heavier weights deep into the night.

Mr. T, High Tea, Low T

People it seems are finding bathtubs scattered all over the planet in case one would have a sudden urge for a bath.
Houses are unwrapping, morphing into rain forests and other exotic habitats.
Is this the solution to the housing problem and global warming all at the same time?
It all has to do with some lady named Alice and Low T.
I remember growing up and watching Mr. T on the television; I am sure he didn’t have any worries about Low T, High Tea, bathtubs littering the landscape or waterfalls suddenly appearing in his kitchen.
Back beyond Mr. T, it was the British that worried about High Tea and the shortage of tea coming out of the Indian Colonies.
In America the colonists threw the Tea into the harbor.
I would assume a Tea shortage ensued and the colonists would have suffered from Low T for the rest of that winter.
In these modern times there must be a lot of Low T going around.
Radio ads ask incessantly, “Do you suffer from Low T”?
My wife recently went to a Tea Room and bought a Tea pot and lots of exotic tea so we no longer have to worry about Low T supplies in our house.
I did ask her though, “Did you go see Alice”?
She looked at me like I had lost another marble and busied herself making a fresh pot of Tea.
But the ads do suggest we need to See Alice.
So I began wondering, if this is the same Alice that Arlo Guthrie sang about and the Restaurant of the same name, Alice’s’ Restaurant?
The lyrics suggest this may be the reason they keep telling us to go See Alice.
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Or just maybe we need to go See Alice, you know, the other Alice, the one that fell down the rabbit hole, since it seems the world may have taken that same plunge.